BC Bike Race: The Day(s) After

5 07 2010

The Thrill of Victory

Mother Hubbard went to the Cupboard: Sunday morning: It was great to finish the BC Bike Race yesterday, and the banquet afterwards was a blast. But somewhere that evening, my body checked out. You’re on your own now, I’m done.” And so began a slow spiral of deteriorating health.

Sunday afternoon: Basically, I feel like crap. I haven’t felt this bad since, well, I can’t remember. I think this is what they call ‘viremia’: I have a headache, a backache… I have no energy; I am dizzy. I could fall asleep at any moment. I have no appetite and frankly, I don’t give a damn. I have done everything I can think of. I’m hydrating, taking vitamins, took a hot-tub, had a massage, went to bed early….I guess mother Hubbard went to the cupboard and the cupboard was bare. I’m going to take it easy for the rest of the week, and hope for the best.

Goodbye to good friends: Sunday evening, Lobby of the Chateau Whistler: Seven days and at least seven good friends. I’ve got phone numbers, business cards, emails, home addresses too. We have a lot in common. It will be sad to part ways with these troopers. And, I’m actually going to follow up this time. Who knows? I might even make a road-trip to Dawson Creek

Back to the real world (really?) Monday morning: Feeling slightly better, had good sweat last night, napped in the car on the way down from Whistler. Actually made it to work today and I’m on task.

Tuesday afternoon: I’m so tired that I had to take time off work today. It’s a rare occurrence for me, but, I still feel like I have been hit by a truck…  I have to get back in the game.

Tuesday evening: I still have a headache but I must be getting better now because I did watch a bit of the soccer and I did check to see if that beer in the corner of the fridge was still cold…So, I must be starting to turn the corner.

Wednesday: I seemto have a bit more spring in my step. I got the kids off to school without a hitch. I even remembered their hats and sunscreen. That’s progress. Today, as I walked down I took the first deep breath in a long time…. (just after crossing the finish line, I started hacking up a lung) … and that was 4 days ago.

Why do we do it? Today after a healthy lunch of grilled mackerel and spinach, I wondered…”Why do we do these things? Why do we use up our precious vacation time only to return to the office, scraped, bruised, twisted and visibly ill? To whom would this seem normal?

After a little while, looking across Ambleside and out over the Lion’s Gate Bridge to Stanley Park, it came to me…

We do this to bolster what psychologists call ‘self-efficacy’. (our confidence in our ability to get things done)

We do this to support our ‘world view’ that we are strong, capable and competent.

We do it because it strengthens our belief that…”I can do it!”

And we do it so that…

at some other time, in some other place…

when the sky is dark and the wind is biting,

we will have the confidence

to follow the star of our desire

across that barren plain,

however far and however wide

to hold the one hand that belongs in ours….

and know that


That’s why we do it.

Anthony M. Ocana MD




One response

10 07 2010
Mark J

Well said my friend. And congratulations on going to that particular wall and making it back.

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